Last week, we gave you the top half of the list of reasons why dogs are better than kids. Below is the conclusion of the same list.
10. No one will get mad at you if you tattoo your dog.
9. The older a dog gets, the more he likes you.
8. Dogs don’t jump on the bed. They simply crawl in beside you and shed all over you while keeping your feet warm.
7. When dogs don’t obey you, it’s because they just don’t understand English, not because they’re ignoring you.
6. When a dog runs away, you can sometimes catch him by grabbing his tail.
5. Your relatives won’t hand your dog back to you with a dirty diaper.
4. Dogs help you clean the litterbox.
3. When your dog comes into your bedroom at an intimate moment, you don’t have to tell him you are just “wrestling”.
2. Dogs don’t roll their eyes at you when you tell them you had it much rougher when you were young.
1. By the time your dog enters adolescence, he is neutered.
Until next time,
Good day, and good dog!
Ok…Rob. LOL
Alternate List
10. Your dog will show his tattoo to his friends and boast how he had a chip inserted without anaesthetic.
9. Your dog learns how to manipulate you more as it gets older.
8. The dog creeps into the bed and pushes you out of it.
7. Your dog doesn’t obey because it is doing shady dealings in dog biscuits that promise extra virility (There is a market for this because we neuter them). The police caught my dog selling viagnadog to two elderly Pit bulls. Oh the shame of taking him to court.
6. When my dog runs away I have to report it to the police and the parole service.
5. Your relatives won’t hand your dog back to you with a dirty diaper. Instead they hand you a carrier bag.
4. Your dog helps to recycle your furniture by braking into pieces big enough to put in the recycling bin.
3. My parents weren’t wrestling? AAAHHH!
2. Dogs don’t roll their eyes at you when you tell them you had it much rougher when you were young. Instead they pity you and give you a lick to see what they can get.
1. By the time your dog enters adolescence, he is neutered. Oh boy do they make you pay for it. It is a slippery slope. Neutered, Viagradog, the criminal justice system, dry out clinics.
I am off now to my comfy padded little room and my courses of electro therapy.
Rob.